All Things Haley: Year In The Life #10

I just realized that my children are less than two weeks away from being 14 months old. This, to me, sounds FAR too old.

I think at 15 months I'm going to lose it.

It's bizarre how some of those dates and milestones just hold strange emotions like that. I remember the pregnancy milestones holding the same weight. When we hit 15 weeks it was like we were in a different place, like I was really really pregnant. Strange.

I have a little bit of fear about the 15 month milestone over any others, honestly. I know that the "books" say that kids should be walking by 15 months...and I'm worried about what it will feel like to watch another developmental milestone pass by if Caleb doesn't meet it. I don't have any expectations of him walking by 15 months. We set out our goal for his physical therapy to be cruising by 15 months, and I'm feeling like he might reach that which will be fantastic! But there's just something about watching another "should have" pass by that gives me butterflies.

Speaking of "should haves", we haven't talked much about some of the other milestones that Caleb is working on. Because the only therapy he's doing right now is physical, the other developmental areas tend to be a bit lower prioritized unfortunately. I'm working on locking down a speech and occupational therapist down in Chandler, but with the holidays and the move, we're in a bit of a holding pattern again.

It helps me to jot these things down, as hard as it is sometimes. Most of the time, I just want to focus on the awesome progress little man is making. But I know the importance of recognizing the areas he should focus on and ensuring he has all of the tools he needs to get there (which he doesn't have right now).

If I were to boil it down right now, I have three main concerns. 1) Caleb's speech. He started using a few consonants several months ago and hasn't continued to develop in this area, he's been completely stagnant. He will say "ba ba ba" and sometimes "wa wa wa". The occasional "da da da" comes out. I haven't heard much else recently. No words, by any means. Definitely behind for a 13 month old. 2) Caleb use of his thumbs. This shows most often when he's eating or drinking. He will only use his right hand when feeding himself and usually still rakes the food with his palm and four fingers- although just the past couple of days I've noticed him starting to use his pointer finger more! But his left hand never comes into play during meals unless I hold his right arm and keep him from using it. When he tries to feed himself with his left hand, he's almost always unsuccessful and completely tucks his thumb into his fist, making it nearly impossible to even rake the food. When he holds a cup, he will occasionally grip the cup with his left hand well, wrapping his thumb around it, but he doesn't use his right thumb to hold the cup at all. He uses his right wrist and palm only. 3) Caleb's cognitive play. Instead of learning new ways to play with toys, Caleb has become fixated on a few ways to play and isn't branching out. He has his favorite toys that he gravitates to and continues to play with them in the same ways. He loves to spin things, flick things, and chew/suck on things...nothing else. He hasn't develop the desire to push buttons, roll, bang together, imitate, sort, or stack. He doesn't try to turn pages in books, which we've been working on for months.

Ok, I did it. For some reason, writing down the areas that Caleb, his therapists, and us need to work on feels like I'm calling out his weaknesses or highlighting his short comings. I know it's just a way to document and an important step to ensuring he has what he needs, but it's tough on a mama to put it down in writing. I don't want it to define him. He's such an awesome kid. He doesn't need to be like anyone else, or meet anyone else's expectations of him. He will be exactly who he is supposed to be, and he'll ROCK it. If only I could remember this in those worrisome mommy moments.

With all of the areas that we'll be focusing on for Caleb's development, I have several areas that I'm thinking about for Grace's development as well...mostly behavioral however. ;) She's such a ball of energy and she's completely fantastic, I love every ounce of it. And yet, there are things I worry about with her, too. The hitting is something that's starting to concern me- I know that "No" isn't always effective at this age, nor is time out or punishment in general. Consequences don't exactly register to a 13 month old. But allowing her to continue hitting her brother, or my face, or the cat...because she laughs when I say "no" doesn't make sense. Our pediatrician told us to start doing time out in the pack n play for one minute each time she does it. I think we're going to have to institute this sooner rather than later. Today, she nearly gouged Caleb's eyes out. Of course, thirty seconds before that she was giving him the cutest hug in the world and trying to do horsey rides on him again, which had him completely cracking up. Oy! Oh, and did I mention the screaming at the top of her lungs? Not my favorite new addition to her boundary testing. She also now needs to have one binky in her mouth and one in each hand in order to be happy at bath time or bed time (Amanda started allowing it at nap time so now she wants it anytime she's going to bed). That's being squashed immediately. But she's always taking binkies, cups, toys, and even shoes from Caleb. Sharing is going to be a constant battle for the next 15 years I think...

So there you have it, plenty to work on around here. All good things- all signs of children growing and needing to take on new challenges and learn boundaries. But this parenting thing is no joke, that's for sure. :)