I'm tired. I'm feeling overwhelmed and I'm tired. I love these babies more than I could ever express, I hope that's incredibly apparent- on this blog and to them. That doesn't change the fact that I'm feeling very overwhelmed today.
Ben is sick. I think he has the flu. So he's not helping feed the babies, and this is really, really hard alone all the time. This is by no means his fault, obviously- and it's not because of him that I'm overwhelmed. It's because I'm not totally awesome at this. I am what I am- I'm doing the best that I can, and I feel so blessed to have these two miracles. But I'm not superwoman by any means, and feeding, changing, playing with, soothing, and carrying two infants over and over and over again is hard. Period. Not that it's not so much more than just "worth it", but it's really hard.
I feel like I need a break, and that's what's overwhelming. There is no such thing as a break from this- they are my world. They need me and I need them- and it's overwhelming.
So, I'm gonna keep on feeding, changing, playing with, soothing, and carrying my two children...and I'm going to remember what it was like when we weren't sure we'd have them. When we wondered if we'd ever have this incredible blessing. When we weren't whole. I'm so lucky. Overwhelmed and tired, but so, so lucky. They're 12 weeks old today, and it's going by so fast...
Here are the littles finally sleeping for a bit so mommy could grab the camera:
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| Well, sorta sleeding- per usual |
And here was Ben at the time- poor guy:
I tried to go grab my camera real fast when they were totally staring at eachother on the play mat this evening. But when I got there Caleb had decided he was over it and thought crying was a better idea (hence the binky- I usually keep the binkies away during play time). But it was super cute- they just laid there looking right into eachother's eyes. Grace looks at Caleb a lot, but not the other way around. It was like he saw her for the first time!
Good night all.
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