Today, Ben and I took the babies down to Chandler to hang out with the family, which is always SO awesome...and yet so stressful at the same time. I want...no, I need...these babies to be flexible. And I need myself to be flexible right along with them. But it's so very hard to know that changing up our routine is gonna cause trouble and still do it anyway. Getting out to see my family is worth it, but it's so hard. Just when I get something going that works, that's easier...I start to get ansy to take them out, to live a little (or at least a little more than the current situation). But at the same time, that's when I really want to stick with the routine that's "working" (well, sorta working from what you can tell by my recent posts). Our days have been pretty good...I know how to get them down for a nap, even if it's not exactly the best way, it's our way and it works. And I know that those naps help to foster happier, more playful babies. I know that missing any of those naps means that the babies start to get fussy, fragile, sensitive...angry. I can deal with a fussy baby. But when the fussiness turns into more missed naps, we've got the recipe for another three hour meltdown that feels like a soul crusher.
Today, the babies started to meltdown at nana and papa's house. Caleb cried for a while...I'm not sure how long, it's harder to keep track when I'm not as focused on the routine. But it was probably about 30 minutes or so...but no screaming. I saw it though, I saw the beginnings of "the doom" (what I like to call it) as he was refusing to let me sit down with him and resisting falling asleep...all WAY earlier than normal. So I panicked. I NEEDED him to sleep, I got that gut wrenching "oh no I can't do it again" feeling as I watched him wide eyed and ready to burst.
And then it wasn't too bad. We spent most of the night trying to get him to sleep unsuccessfully, and had a couple of crying bursts, but no meltdown. I was sure he would lose it when we got home. We left around 8:45, and they were supposed to eat again around 9. They slept the whole way home, and then absolutely woke up as soon as we turned the truck off. He fussed, but then he took a bottle and got sleepy. We kept the lights down, we didn't talk. He fell asleep for a bit, then woke up and wanted some more. I swaddled him, I fed him a little more, I laid him on the ottoman to get more milk and five minutes later, he was out.
What?!? Out? What's that? Yep, the babies were swaddled and asleep in their cribs by 10:30pm (gasp! *choke* *cough* gasp!) WHAT?
So, I'm happy to report that I was wrong. I wonder what will happen tonight, will they wake up in two hours hungry? Will they be up every hour starting at midnight? Who knows, but I'm sure it won't be a horrific three hour crying spell, and I'm all about the major win in that!
Anyway, what I was getting at... being with my family, we started talking about how the babies are growing, and how my niece and nephew grew at this age...and we were thinking back to three months ago (almost four now). I actually watched our birth video yesterday afternoon. I don't know what it was, but I wanted to see their beginnings. And they were some humble beginnings, especially for little man.
Taking a few minutes to look back at how tiny they were, and read what I wrote back then...it's so good for the soul. Just reminding myself how far we've come and how much I miss those tiny baby moments while at the same time loving that we're onto the next amazing phase; it's so refreshing.
So take a minute or two, look back at where you came from, where you've been. Feel blessed about what you've done and where you're going. And cherish every nervous, anxious, giggly, fussy, screaming minute of it.
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| Our babies were in there!?!?! |
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| Going home day, four days old! |
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| Grace's jazz hands! |
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| Six days old...we removed the infant insert today cuz he's just WAY too big for it. Can you imagine? I never thought this tiny little guy would outgrow that thing. |
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| We think she's little now...just look at her!! |
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